Strip Me

It was one of my last days in Shanghai. The temperature was climbing. Humid air served as a perfect example of pressing stillness... Though, then I cared no more for weather, I walked around the city in high spirits with images of Slovakia and Edinburgh clarifying in my mind and calling me back... with sense of accomplishment and thought of the most perfect reference letter that was so overly positive, it almost seemed fake. On that day I was coming back from the city centre with a bag of presents for my family along with one and only thing I always wanted but never had courage to buy: the red coat.

Red coat and I, we have a long history. It would be to consuming and a little counter-productive to retell the story just now. All you need to know is that as a result of random events over the years this red coat transformed itself in my mind into a powerful symbol. Symbol of something, someone... I wanted to be.

So, there I was freezing in the confined space of underground train as a natural result of unearthly cooling air-conditioning power. I got off the train and made my way up the stairs, through the corridor... and up the stairs again... where, instead of an exit, stood a cluster of people all absentmindedly watching the storm flood the street with inappropriately large amount of water. Umbrella would be useless, thus I joined the crowed with resignation and watched the raindrops pour down in angry rebellion. It was a little inconvenient; on the other hand, I was happy to feel at least that feeble promise of fresh air which was not to truly come till autumn.

When the rain seemed to recede a little I took my chance, opened my umbrella and stepped out of the crowd into the rain. I walked down the street with stubborn determination to make it home before it gets worse. I walked on down the never-ending street along the park when thunder roared above my head and rain started to regain its strength.

I can still make it, I thought.

What I did NOT think about was a little insignificant fact that the bag I was holding was made of paper. Suddenly, my determination melted in surprise as I watched the content of the bag spill on the sidewalk, leaving only shreds of drenched paper in my hand.

That was it... I folded the umbrella, put on the red coat, picked up everything else and shovelled it in my bag. As I stepped forward again, an enormous lightening stroke across the sky followed by ominous sound of thunder bringing another wave of pouring rain...

I looked up to the sky and... laughed.

Letting the rain cool my skin, flow down my cheeks, soak all my clothes... I spinned around and stepped ahead ever so lightly. And then, randomly and out of nowhere, the music came... the lyrics and the melody of Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘Strip me’ resonated within me so realistically I would dare to say it was real.

La-la-la-la-la la
lala la la-la la lalaaaaa

I walked down the street in pouring rain smiling like a fool.

Every day I fight for all my future something
A thousand little wars I have to choose between
I could spend a lifetime earning things I don't need
That's like chasing rainbows and coming home empty

My shoes filled with water, so I took them off and sailed through puddles, moving smoothly as if dancing... as if it was the most natural thing to do... and the sound of passing cars disappeared...
And if you strip me, strip it all away
If you strip me, what would you find
If you strip me, strip it all away
I'll be alright

The storm was enveloping my every step though the sky was suddenly lighter, the air was clearer...

Take what you want steal my pride
Build me up or cut me down to size
Shut me out but I'll just scream
I'm only one voice in a million
But you ain't taking that from me
You ain't taking that from me
You ain't taking that!

The storm was everywhere but inside me.

And if you strip me, strip it all away
If you strip me, what would you find
If you strip me, strip it all away
I'm still the same

This was a movie scene... my movie scene because this time I was the girl in the red coat.

Cause when it all boils down at the end of the day
It's what you do and say that makes you who you are
Makes you think about, think about it doesn't it
Sometimes all it takes is one voice....

I reached the doorstep of my temporary home at last, looked up, spinned in the rain for the last time and ran inside. When the door of the lift opened on the sixth floor, the lady who took care of our floor froze in the movement while cleaning the floor and looked at me in shock as I stood there barefooted, water dripping from every inch of my clothes... then she burst out laughing and shook her head (then she inconspicuously followed me to my room drying the puddles I left behind...)

Sometimes I think I really am crazy, but then I like being myself... and as my friend said if being crazy is what makes me happy, that is all that matters.

Oh well, it’s good to do something irrational at least once a year :) .